I have just recently understood how alien i actualy am, and always have bin, it's very vierd, being a part of an alternative culture, though i was never a part of it cause people seem to have talked behind my back for my accepting my imperfect style, this by officially calling my self an wannabe goth, and not goth, a wannabe was considered something bad of course but i thought to high about the people who were rely goth to call my self anything else but a wannabe.

the same, why have i bin listening to the specific tracks i have bin listening to on the albums i have bin listening to as small? small is.. 12 years old when i got the chans to rely listen to new trance music every month case my mother was subscribing on this collection of v/a cd's.

why did i pick the darker or more complex trax in that age?

what i don't grasp is from where has this alianation erupted from, i can accept being strange, but what made me strange, if i had it in my genes, from whom did i inheretige them from, or am i just a perfect combination.