Oviktiga brev jag aldrig skickat till lemora

I'm thinking, isn't this... feelings to be expressed products of surronding minds who claim this feelings as what we are soposed to feel, and not exactly what we feel.

I mean, that you know as an artist that other artist around you is said to express this feelings how ever, I don't think were modern enough to comprehend this.. fears I believ that the ordinary human is expressing the same basic scheam as it has done the last 50 000 years how ever the art has changed normes and your not soposed to point out the obeus feelings.

I Do however belive that a selected few does actaly comprehend the fears assosiated to our sosciety, they might be be the rightfull expressers of this feelings how ever I do not believ that the modern human needs to express the modern feelings.

And when it comes to limitations and freedome, after all if not normes deside them it's up to the indevidual to define what it's own freedome is.


Hello Kinga, tonight i feel like writing something, nothing serious just something popping up in my head so excuse me if you might find it irrelevant to compared to the subject we have bin discussing before. I will answer the message of relevance in time though.

when i said good night to my good brother he handed me this cookbook, partly because he insist on me giving some variation to my usual menu, and also because the author of the book seem to be some kind of pattern for my brother in his choice of occupation.

i guess i already told you that my brother is currently studing to be a cook, he was gravely disappointed when the army didn't acknowledge him as chef for one of there coastal protection boats, though it was not lack of qualities from his sake, though bad luck, and one of less competence was chosen.

Even though i believe my brother has an outstanding chance to be a recourse of grate matter in the tavern business, not just because he is my brother but he got a motivation rather rare in swedes in his own age, he dreams of writing his own cookbook in a field not currently to occupied, wildlife cocking, which could bring profit, 'cause it's an growing interest that congress participators might want a wildlife experience in between congresses. Daniel see the opportunity to deliver them high standard food meanwhile.

I shore am proud of my brother, and i believe in his vision.

speaking about my brothers competence; brings up the subject of my incompetence, i just had my third Music library crash, this time, not the whole collection (most of my powernoise and technoid is intact) though it was 100% my own fault.

yet again I'll try to restore it, though one thing, at a closer loock at your surprise dvd, several mp3 where half or corrupt, actually, the mayor part of it, i didn't mention it before cause i thought it was my program that was malfunprctioning, but now when i cross check the file-size with the time, it's the mp3, rely rely sad, though everything else is of course functional and beautiful :)

You know what i love the second gen you sent me! i din't realise you listened to any noise hop, any way as you probably alredy know, techno animal has made very similar sounding music, i didn't even know they'd remixed this song by 2nd gen.



Hello kinga :) tonight it's rainsnowing in stockholm I just went home from a friend and exept it's bin a slippery walk it's bin a close to perfect day, yes the morning was a bit weird with the to early lesson but what ever, I think it's bin pleasen't lotts of timing otherwise :) i'm about to repear my pc, as you might have read, I'm rely curius of what you have uploaded me, I will download it tomorrow and tomorrow I will have to by a group of writeable dvd's to be able to back up my library... I spent several minutes to delete much of my mp3 library... I saved what I have bin recommended by you and some music i'm curius of and of course my ultimate favorites.. but it still felt horrible, you know cutting in your own flesh every time you push delete.. well to sum it, together with my preshes comicbook collection it was 16,4 gig, so it will be atleast 4 dvd's sucks how ever, I don't want to take the risk to lose data on bad bearning preferencerenses. I think when my soundcard is reparad I will start record some of my lyrics I have composed, rather neofolk and rather rome but I think I will trye to convince a synthfriend to make music to it, we have bin talking about coaperate, he want's to make drone, but--- yeah perhaps drone will suit for it, there aint to much vocal drone what I know, I have another friend who is a badass drummer and guitarist, perhaps I might ask him to trye to compose a version to, I don't know I might loose this inspirations flow, but I hope it will last, cause it would be a boste for my selfcomfidence :) I'm think about how leipzig will be during night, I wonder if I even could walk to theis castle/tempel I saw you were fotographed at, all silvery and such :) I wonder if it's too far, perhaps perhaps not I simply have to check on a map, print it out for the occation etc, did you find any organic wines at any of the local stores btw? It's rather trendy I think in sweden to buy such, perhaps I will check with my airport if I can buy any from them :) that is if you can't find any, is the liquidrestrictions inside of germany you think? Well there certainly is in sweden just perhaps there might be all right if I buy it when I have passed there liquid control.

I might also, buy a perfume I rely like, for my self of course :P but I have bin wearing at it for soo long without dearing to perches it, seeming to delicate to just buy it at an ordinary occation, perhaps you have heard or seen it, Galthier is the brand and it's of his male eddition a white bottle shaped like a male torso, I think it's rather silly :P but well it smells most delightly of citrussblossoms so I just can't resist loveing it ^^.

when it come to sent's what kind of sents to you prefer? When it comes to perfumes mainly, do you like them sharp, fruity, exotic, ordinary, deep, “sentual”(what ever that might meen), sporty, you tell me :)?

I have bin thinking of looking up some 50questions to answere template he for mail, I think they're rather fun I find plesure in answereing them but it could make you learn a bit or two about the other person to, I don't know would a shildish formula such as that annoy you?

I don't know if will send this to you, it's abit to much of a diary, I don't want to be a timewaste for you :S

hum the combichrist album wer'nt bad how ever not p-noise any more :( alright aggrotech but i don't know if that will be my future top combichrist album.

i like how ever how he picture paranoia, this get out of my head, i think it's a more irritatad picturing some how which aint sad or lame, just angry at the this voice hehe it's abit funny to.

i think i like panazer ag better than combichrists new style turn.

hum i don't know.. i haven't analysed early industrial enough, only the dronie part, and one reason why i ask is also because i don't think that all even but a few of the power noise seen does actualy sound like machines, i also get rather confused of the facts that there's so many motorentusiasts you know just general greasmonkeys of all kinds, they seem to love motors for there hoursepowers or complexity, so why don't they love it's sounds as much?.

any way, i've heard of esp geo and i will listen to it, it's rely intersting that you said that blastfurnac isn't new haha i ain't trying to say that converter is the most original, how ever i have it hard to find any one beating him at his own game.

talking about orginality, i would like to divide creative persons in two main subgroups, orginal ones and rafinated, where for example the designer and painter HR Giger would fitt in the "orginal one" though my favorite inspired by giger; Nihei is of the rafinated, hr giger was first with his style, of course he tok inspirations from somewhere but he still made something new, while nihei tok some of the consept of giger and made it better.

therefore giger were first, but didn't make it perfect (according to me)
while niheie compleated his work. (according to me)

in music you could almost do this dividing by saying early industrial would be original and post industrial rafinated, i believ more in a perfect product than being incredible original.


Hum I think I understand what you meant with esplendor geometrica, how ever, I think that it seems far more power electronics than todays power noise, I have how ever not heard all of it yet, only.. what ever the album is called but it's just one.

Any way, it does seartanly rightfully claim to be the father of all rhythmic noise it is even dansable.

Hum how about sever, ash or from zero by gridlock? Were they first and if not could you pleas tell me any other artist which you think was before them.

When I'v bin reading about gridlock on the net the have compared there older works with old skinny puppy.. I don't know if they mean old works such as synthetic form or even older material by gridlock, which is almost abit ebmish, if how ever they're comparing synthetic form with s puppy, then I must start listening through skinny poppy's discography, how about crout rock btw, it's considered to be machine rock every now and then and I wonder if that might be because every now and then powerful rythms.

There's an song i'v mentioned before on marilyn mansons “smells like children” album wich I think i'v summit like “so oldschool industrial it turns into power noise” I wonder if this track is just one of hundred from the crout rock scene atleast the older part of it.

If esplendor geometrica was first was he then alone in the scene until PAL? Isn't that like 10 years?

Hey one rather interesting quest if you have time and do not not encounter to much toothpain :( poor thing, do you think you could give me a list or a upload of your current top 50 songs? And I think top doesn't have to mean 7 songs by twinkel but singel tracks you just can't stand being without even if they aint to haevy in your last.fm chart?

Perhaps you remember my power noise upload to you? This includeing slayv axis – axis of evil etc, that's one part of a top 50 of mine, when ever I have a crash does are the files I download first.


I know I rely shouldn't tell you I want to try to make a coaperation with you in music, there's both reason to do it and reasons to not, I think a sugestion such as that could make you think I was... I don't know to eager, how ever I rely rely would like to trye, for the sake that it's so seldome i'm close enough friend with the persons I sugest to band(not band but that magic rule) with. So perhaps i'm close enough to actualy do something with you kinga. How ever I think it's getting expensiver to talk to you, that last chatt was cute, some how, perhaps not when you read it in retrospect but you lose the flow then, I wonder she ment with “an expereience to talk to me” probably cause she haven't had that many moments of desperation which the clock aint mattering for the sake of having more words.

She was thinking about me, thinking about who I am rely behind the filter of literature, I wonder who she is, I wonder how this dog preference could be traced in here soul, I have liked catpersons so far I belive for the reason they're usualy as socialy tired as my self.

mit “tvålgaller” is cute,

för övrigt gillar jag inte office lampan bättre än gemet, jag skulle gärna ha gemet istället, undrar ifall det finns addons till open ofice wilket ger mig den som hjälpare istället, I think it's cute with it's finurliga faceexpressions while youre typing, how ever in open office it's dissepearing if your ignorieng it.

Jag undrar väldigt mycket vad min glade müe tänker om mig, eller vad jag hoppas på .

Jag känner att julen har varit full av insikter, tex hur delicat det är att prata med alternativa om faktumet att jag vill inte vara alternativ, och ha bra argument för det förståss.

Som vanligt mins jag inte dessa insikter, de var rellativt många under bara denna månaden som varit, tror upp till fem, det kan vara på grund av att jag ätit mer varierad kost och känt mig mycket tryggare I brobäckhus.

Dock holler jag nog fast vid den tanken att när jag väl en gång konstaterat formeln, även ifall jag glömmer den stracks efter, så kommer jag att ha användning för den I framtida diskutioner, jag kommer att ha underlag för utlägg I mitt undermevetna så att säga.


And for a while he enjoys the plesure of expanding his anus


Suger fet Monloitisk stålballe enligt mig! jag vet ju hur det är själv då jag kanske redan sagt att mitt ljudkort är kaputt.! du jag vet ett ställe jag måååste till den 17de, jag skulle gärna se dig där, Spiritual front och Order rosariu eqvelibrium spelar live här i stockholm gratis, jag skulle gråta blod ifall jag missade det, och det hade varit urkul att se did där ifall du skulle känna för det, jag skall eventuellt gå dit med ett x men det är inte säkert, och jag tror att du skulle uppskatta musiken ännu mer för den delen :D
SO what's the formula of attraction, sexual if you like, what is the reason, the story behind the feeling of attraction when seeing a large couple of naked womens breasts? For me it's not logical, one thing that I feel a hunger or a wanting seeing a sandwich it seems logical enough, i'm always in need for more nurisment, and that sandwhich will balance my bloodsugar, I also have a stomach which seems to be empty when I don't eat often enough.
But the feeling of attraction is far more complex, first of all the desire, if I understand it right it's a formula of several factors, both montal and kemical, as you know I love to think of it as a match of feromones, but at the same time it's a mental selections process.
Yes it's darn interesting that we aint as a modern creature not complex enough to choise what to be attracted to, that it aint colder, of course I don't want it to be colder, I which it was less cold as it is, I whish it would be accepted to have spontanius orgies every where, but that's far to biblical for the general public it seems, I guess I don't blame them that much but, damn it would be nice if it was more lose lett.
Well we know it isn't like that in todays society and I bet there is a explaination to why it isn't so, I don't think chimpansies is constantly fornicating but I think they might be 100% less descrite, no matter we're in a society shaped by the beast the body of the mind and the mind of something that think it's better than it's own body, giving us a midle way. Weird.